Patience is struggle
I've had lots of experiences regarding impatience and have paid the price for it too. My experience with impatience used to involve over locking and unlocking my cell phone and playing the TV remote a lot.
As these things continued, suddenly I had a high fever and was diagnosed with typhoid a few years back. It was a festival period and everyone of my family members were back home after years. The doctors suggested me to stay at bed until I felt better but wouldn't tell me how long it would take. It could take from few weeks to a month.
I panicked; I could not possible stay in a single room, let alone a bed for a whole month! But as the day passed, a week passed and the second passed. By the third week, I was feeling a lot better and could get out of the bed.
My experience from recovery taught me to slow down and listen to my body, I allowed myself to relax and the healing started to happen.
A few years later I was tested again, I lost a very close person to me, my grandfather and it would prove to be one of the hardest challenges I've ever come across.
Beyond devastated, I fell into a depression. It wasn't an immobilizing depression, but it led me to a period of deep grief and sadness.
Weeks and months went by, but my negative feelings seemed to stay the way they were. Anxiety and stress crept inside me even if I wanted them to go away. I wanted to get better, but it wasn't happening anytime sooner. The most demanding question in my head was, “When am I finally going to heal?”
It’s not that people around me were not consoling me or trying to make me feel better, I listened to them, for some moments I acknowledged their good intentions in making me feel all right and the message they wanted to convey. Yet, healing still didn’t happen. I was not able to heal until I was willing to be patient with myself and my emotions.
It was only when I started working, and when I started to divert my mind to let go of my emotional hollowness inside me that gradually made me feel okay!
While working on a websites dealing with rare and Antique Buddha Statues, didn't only help me professionally but while researching for the work, I came across various articles and posts regarding things that we go through in our everyday life, and solving them through the practice of Buddhism didn’t only make me start believing in myself, but actually practicing them made me a happier person than I was before.
I could feel the change in me. And it was a good change indeed.
The emotional hollowness was not the only thing that I left behind, I was getting patient about every other thing that was happening around me.
When I started becoming patient, I realized I was in control of almost everything, and once I gained control, emotional and spiritual healing started to manifest inside me.
For me it came through my work. I’m not suggesting that working will help you as it did to me, but from what I have experienced, I suggest everyone to indulge in at least one activity, where you can concentrate and then you will start feeling better about everything. Additionally, as I studied about Buddha and his teachings, I came across the significances of Buddha Statues which revitalized the hope that was lost within me. The faith that was lost was getting back to me. And in no time, I was full of hope for the new beginnings and happiness in life.
Allow yourself to be still, and remember that if you’re aligned with who you really are, all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place at the right time.
Spend some time in absolute silence, in solitude, and listen to the voice of your intuition, which is the voice of your true self. Sometimes you won’t be able to hear that voice, so be patient. Trust that you will receive the answers you seek in time.
Finally, celebrate the even the smallest milestones and achievements in your life: a pound lost, a mile ran, a spreadsheet done, a new neighbor met, a happy moment. As Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”